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TEN

THOUSAND A-YEAR.

BY

SAMUEL WARREN, P.R.S.

Vol. I.

BOSTON: LITTLE, BROWN, AND COMPANY.

1889.

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A LITTLE BLUE'BYBD LAUGHING IHAGB OP PURITY AND HAPPINESS,

THESE VOLUMES ARE INSCRIBED

AS A SLIGHT MEMORIAL OP A FATHER'S AFFECTION FOR AN ONLY DAUGHTER.

October, z84i*

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PUBLISHERS' PEEFACE

The fact that a well-printed edition of this notable story has not been in print either in England or America since its original publication in 1841 is a sufficient reason for the present edition.

It includes the valuable notes in which the author elucidated the " many legal topics contained in the work, enabling the non-professional reader to under- stand more easily the somewhat complex and elabo- rate plot of the story."

Of the story itself it is hardly necessary to speak. Always deservedly popular, it has been widely read for neariy fifty years in England and America, has been translated into French and German, and has only required to be presented in a pleasing form, with readable type and good paper, to insure it the circulation which it deserves.

Boston, 1889.

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PEEFACE TO THE FIEST EDIHON.

The Author of this Work begs gratefully to ex- press his conviction that no small share of any success which it may have met with, is attributable to the circumstance of its having had the advan- tage of an introduction to the public through the medium of Blackwood! % Magazine a distinguished periodical, to which he feels it an honor to have been, for a time, a contributor.

One word, only, he ventures to offer, with ref- erence to the general character and tendency of " Tejc Thousand a-Yeab." He has occasionally observed it spoken of as ''an amusing and laugh- able" story; but he cannot help thinking that no one wUl so characterize it, who may take the trouble of reading it throughout, and be capable of comprehending its scope and object. Whatever may be its defects of execution, it has been written in a grave and earnest spirit; with no attempt whatever to render it acceptable to mere novel- readers; but with a steadfast view to that de- velopment and illustration, whether humorously or otherwise, of principles, of character, and of con- duct, which the author had proposed to himself

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X PREFACE TO THE FIRST EDITION.

from the first, in the hope that he might secure the approbation of persons of sober, independent, and experienced judgment.

Literature is not the author's profession. Hav- ing been led, by special circumstances only, to commence writing this work, he found it impos- sible to go on, without sacrificing to it a large portion of the time usually allotted to repose, at some little cost both of health and spirits. This was, however, indispensable, in order to prevent its interference with his professional avocations. It has been written, also, under certain other con- siderable disadvantages which may account for several imperfections in it during its original ap- pearance. The periodical interval of leisure which his profession allows him, has enabled the author, however, to give that revision to the whole, which may render it worthier of the public favor. He is greatly gratified by the reception which it has already met with, both at home and abroad; and in taking a final and a reluctant leave of the pub- lic, ventures to express a hope, that this work may prove to be an addition, however small and hum- ble, to the stock of healthy English literature.

London, October 1841.

For the beautiful verses entitled ** Peace," (at page 266, Vol. I.) the author is indebted to a friend ( W. S.)

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CONTENTS TO VOL. I.

CHAP. PAGE

I. While Mr. Tittlebat Titmouse adorns his outer man, the reader gets a glimpse of his inner man, such as it i& A sincere friend ; a wonderful advertise- ment ; an important epistle. A snake approaches an ape ; which signifies Mr. Gammon's introduction

to Titmouse 1

II. Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, and Mr. Titmouse ; who astonishes them with a taste of his quality. Hucka- back chooses to call upon Quirk, Gammon, and Snap, to stir them up ; and what it led to 47

III. Great lawyers come on the scene ; a glimpse of day-

light ; a very moving letter. Titmouse and Hucka- back think it right to go to church ; and the former i-eceives a lesson on landlord-and- tenant law, from Mrs. Squallop 94

IV. A vision of beauty unseen by Mr. Titmouse ; who is in

the midnight of despair and writes a letter which startles Mr. Quirk. How Gammon used to wind round Quirk ; and the subtle means he took to find

out what Titmouse was about 137

V, Gammon tackling Tag-rag. Satin Lodge, and its re- fined inmates, who all pay their duty to Titmouse ; and he very nearly falls in love with Miss Tag-rag. Cyanochaitauthropopoion 181

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XU CONTENTS TO VOL. I.

CHAP. PAOS

VI. Damascns Cream ;' Tetaragmenon Abracadabra ; Tit- mouse's levee at Closet Court ; Mr. Tag-rag's enter- tainment to him at Satin Lodge ; and its disgusting

issue 222

VII. The reader is now introduced to quite a different set of people, in Grosvenor Street, and falls in love with Kate Aubrey. Christmas in the country ; Yatton ; Madam Aubrey ; the Reverend Dr. Tatham ; and old Blind Bess 252

VI n. Two strange creatures are seen at Yatton by Mr. Aubrey and his sister; and a hand-grenade is thrown, unseen, at the feet of the latter. Country life ; Yatton ; Fotheringham ; the two beauties ;

and an angel beset by an imp 297

IX. The explosion of the hand-grenade ; shattered hopes and happiness. A winter evening's gossip at the Aubrey Arms, among Yatton villagers, and its

giievous interruption 382

X. Gammon versus Tag-i-ag ; and Snap cum Titmouse, introducing him to life in Loudon of one sort. The feast of reason and the flow of soul at Alibi House ; Mr. Quirk's banquet to Titmouse, who is overcome by it Titmouse seems to hesitate be- tween Miss Quirk and Kate Aubrey 372

XI. Suffering ; dignity ; tenderness ; resignation . . . 415 XII. How the great flaw was discovered in Mr. Aubrey's title ; but a terrible hitch occurs in the proceedings of his opponents 431

XIII. Madam Aubrey's death and burial ; Gammon smitten with the sight of Kate Aubrey's beauty ; and a great battle takes place at the York assizes for Yatton . 454

Notes 507

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TEN THOUSAND A-YEAR.

CHAPTER L

About ten o'clock one Sunday mornings in the month of July 18 , the dazzling sunbeams, which had for several houiB irradiated a little dismal back attic in one of the closest courts adjoining Oxford Street, in London, and stimulated with their intensity the closed eyelids of a young man one Tittlebat Titmousb lying in bed, at length awoke him. He rubbed his eyes for some time, to relieve himself from the irritation occasioned by the sudden glare they encountered ; and yawned and stretched his limbs with a heavy sense of weariness, as though his sleep had not refreshed him. He presently cast his eyes towards the heap of clothes lying huddled together on the backless chair by the bedside, where he had hastily flung them about an hotu: after midnight; at which time he had returned from a great draper's shop in Oxford Street, where he served as a shopman, and where he had nearly dropped asleep, after a long day^s work, in the act of putting up the shutters* He could hardly keep his eyes open while he undressed, short as was the time required to do so ; and on dropping exhausted into bed, there he had continued, in deep unbroken slumber, till the moment of his being presented to the reader. He lay for several minutes, stretching, yawning, and sighing, occasionally casting an irresolute glance towards the tiny fireplace,

VOL. I. 1

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2 TEN THOUSAND A-YEAR.

where lay a modicum of wood and coal, with a tinder-box and a match or two placed upon the hob, so that he could easily light his fire for the purposes of shaving, and break- fasting. He stepped at length lazily out of bed, and when he felt his feet, again yawned and stretched himself. Then he lit his fire, placed his bit of a kettle on the top of it, and returned to bed, where he lay with his eye fixed on the fire, watching the crackling blaze insinuate itself through the wood and coal. Once, however, it began to fail, so he had to get up and assist it, by blowing, and bits of paper ; and it seemed in so precarious a state that he determined not again to lie down, but sit on the bedside : as he did, with his arms folded, ready to resume opera- tions if necessary. In this posture he remained for some time, watching his little fire, and listlessly listening to the discordant jangling of innumerable church-bells, clamor- ously calling the citizens to their devotions. The current of thoughts passing through his mind, was something like the following :

" Heigho ! Lud, Lud ! Dull as ditch water ! This is my only holiday, yet I don't seem to enjoy it ! for I feel knocked up with my week's work ! (A yawn.) What a life mine is, to be sure ! Here am I, in my eight-and- twentieth year, and for four long years have been one of the shopmen at Tag-rag <fe Co.'s, slaving from half-past seven o'clock in the morning till nine at night, and all for a salary of thirty-five pounds a-year, and my board ! And Mr. Tag-rag eugh 1 what a beast ! is always telling me how high he *s raised my salary ! ! Thirty-five pounds a-year is all I have for lodging, and turning out like a gentleman ! Ton my soul ! it canH last ; for sometimes I feel getting desperate such strange thoughts come into my mind ! Seven shillings a-week do I pay for this cursed hole (he uttered these words with a bitter em- phasis, accompanied by a disgustful look round the little

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TEN THOUSAND A-YEAIL 3

room) that one could n't swing a cat in without touch- ing the four sides ! Last winter three of our gents (t. e. his fellow-shopmen) came to tea with me one Sunday night ; and bitter cold as it was, we four made this cussed dog-hole so hot, we were obliged to open the window I And as for accommodation I recollect I had to borrow two nasty chairs from the people below, who on the next Sunday borrowed my only decanter,, in return, and, hang them, cracked it ! Curse me, say I, if this life is worth having ! It 's all the very vanity of vanities as it *s said somewhere in the Bible and no mistake! Fag, fag, fag, all one's days, and what for 1 Thirty-five pounds a-year, and 'tio advance!^ (Here occurred a pause and revery, from which he was roused by the clangor of the church -bells.) Bah, bells ! ring away till you 're all cracked ! Now do you think /*m going to be mewed up in church on this the only day out of the seven I've got to sweeten myself in, and sniff fresh air? A precious joke that would be ! (A yawn.) Whew ! after all, I 'd almost as lieve sit here ; for what 's the use of my going out 1 Everybody I see out is happy, excepting me, and the poor chaps that are like me \ Everybody laughs when they see me, and know that I 'm only a tallow-faced counter-jumper I know that 's the odious name we gents go by ! for whom it 's no use to go out for one day in seven can't give one a bloom ! Oh, Lord ! what 's the use of being good-looking, as some chaps say I am ? " Here he instinctively passed his left hand through a profusion of sandy-colored hair, and cast an eye towards the bit of fractured looking-glass which hung against the wall, and had, by faithfully representing to him a by no means ugly set of features (despite the dismal hue of his hair) whenever he chose to appeal to it, afforded him more enjoyment than any other object in the world, for years. " Ah, by Jove I many and many 's

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4 TEN THOUSAND A-YEAB.

the fine gal I ^ve done my best ta attract the notice of, while I was serving her in the shop that is, when I \e seen her get out of a carriage ! There has been luck to many a chap like me, in the same line of speculation : look at Tom Tarnish how did he get Miss Twang, the rich pianoforte-maker's daughter ] and noto he *s cut the shop, and lives at Hackney, like a regular gentleman ! Ah ! that was a stroke ! But somehow it has n't answered with me yet ; the gals don't take ! How I have set my eyes to be sure, and ogled them ! All of them don't seem to dislike the thing and sometimes they '11 smile, in a sort of way that says I 'm safe but it 's been no use yet, not a bit of it ! My eyes ! catch me, by the way, ever nodding again to a lady on the Sunday, that had smiled when I stared at her while serving her in the shop after what happened to me a month or two ago in the Park ! Did n't I feel like damaged goods, just then 1 But it 's no matter, women are so different at dif- ferent times ! Very likely I mismanaged the thing. By the way, what a precious puppy of a chap the fellow was that came up to her at the time she stepped out of her can-iage to walk a bit ! As for good looks cut me to ribbons (another glance at the glass) no ; I a'n't afraid tkerey neither but heigho ! I suppose he was, as they say, bom with a golden spoon in his mouth, and had never so many a thousand a-year, to make up to him for never so few brains ! He was uncommon well-dressed, though, I must own. What trousers ! they stuck so natural to him, he might have been bom in them. And his waistcoat, and satin stock what an air ! And yet, his figure was nothing very out of the way I His gloves, as white as snow ; I *ve no doubt he wears a pair of them a-day my stars ! that 's three and-sixpence a-day ; for don't I know what they cost 1 Whew I if I had but the cash to carry on that sort of thing ! And when he 'd

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TEN THOtTSAKD A-YEAR. 6

seen her into her carriage the horse he got on ! —and what a tip-top groom that chap's wages, 1 11 answer for it, were equal to my salary ! (Here was another pause.) Now, just for the fun of the thing, only suppose luck was to befall me t Say that somebody was to leave me lots of cash many thousands a-year, or somethhig in that line ! My stars ! would n't I go it with the best of them ! (Another long pause.) Gad, I really should hardly know how to begin to spend it ! I think, by the way, I *d buy a title to set off with for what won't money buy % The thing 's oft'en done ; there was a great pawn-broker in the city, the other day, made a baronet of, all for his money

and why should n't 11" He grew a little heated with the progress of his reflections, clasping his hands with in- voluntary energy, as he stretched them out to their fullest extent, to give effect to a very hearty yawn. " Lord, only think bow it would sound !

"sir tittlebat titmouse, baronet ;" OR, " LORD TITMOUSE I I"

" The very first place I 'd go to, after I 'd got my title, and was rigged out in Tight-fit's tip-top, should be our cursed shop ! to buy a dozen or two pair of white kid. Ah, ha ! What a flutter there would be among the poor pale devils as were standing, just as ever, behind the counters, at Tag-rag and Co.'s when my carriage drew up, and I stepped, a tip-top swell, into the shop. Tag-rag would come and attend to me himself I No, he would n't

pride would n't let him. I don't know, though : what would n't he do to turn a penny, and make two and nine- pence into three and a penny 1 I should n't quite come Captain Stiff over him, I think, just at first ; but I should treat him with a kind of an air, too, as if hem I 'Pou my life ! how delightful ! (A sigh and a pause.) Yes, I should often come to the shop. Gad, it would be half the fun of my fortune 1 How they would envy me,, to be

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6 TEN THOUSAND A-YEAR.

sure ! How one should enjoy it ! I would n*t think of marrying till and yet I won't say either; if I got among some of them out-and-outers those first-rate articles that lady, for instance, the other day in the Park I should like to see her cut me as she did, with ten thousand a-year in my pocket 1 Why, she 'd be run- ning after me ! or there 's no truth in novels, which I 'm sure there 's often a great deal in. Oh, of course, I might marry whom I pleased ! Who could n*t be got with ten thousand a-year) (Another pause.) I think I should go abroad to Kussia directly ; for they tell me there 's a man lives there who could dye this cussed hair of mine any color I liked and egad ! I 'd come home as black as a crow, and hold up my head as high as any of them ! While I was about it, I 'd have a touch at my

eyebrows " Crash here went all his castle-building,

at the sound of his tea-kettle, hissing, whizzing, sputter- ing, in the agonies of boiling over ; as if the intolerable heat of the fire had driven desperate the poor creature placed upon it, which instinctively tried thus to extin- guish the cause of its anguish. Having taken it off, and placed it upon the hob, and put on the fire a tiny frag- ment of fresh coal, he began to make preparations for shaving, by pouring some of the hot water into an old tea-cup, which was presently to serve for the purposes of breakfast. Then he spread out a bit of crumpled whity- brown paper, in which had been folded up a couple of cigars, bought over-night for the Sunday's special enjoy- ment — and as to which, if he supposed they had come from any place beyond the four seas, I imagine him to have been slightly mistaken. He placed this bit of paper on the little mantel-piece ; drew his solitary well-worn razor several times across the palm of his left hand ; dipped his brush, worn, within half an inch, to the stump, into the hot water ; presently passed it over so much of

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TEN THOUSAin) A-YEAR. 7

his face as he intended to shave; then rubbed on the damp surface a bit of yellow soap and in less than five minutes Mr. Titmouse was a shaved man. But mark don't suppose that he had performed an extensive opera- tion. One would have thought him anxious to get rid of as much as possible of his abominable sandj-colored hair. Quite the coutraiy ! Every hair of his spreading whiskers was sacred from the touch of steel ; and a bushy crop of hair stretched underneath his chin, coming curled out on each side of it, above his stock, like two little horns or tusks. An imperial ». e, a dirt-colored tuft of hair, permitted to grow perpendicularly down the under-lip of puppies and a pair of promising mustaches, poor Mr. Titmouse had been compelled to sacrifice some time be- fore, to the tyi-annical whimsies of his vulgar employer, Mr. Tag-rag, who imagined them not to be exactly suit- able appendages for counter-jumpers. Thus will it be seen that the space shaved over on this occasion was somewhat circumscribed. This operation over, he took out of his trunk an old dirty-looking pomatum pot. A modicum of its contents, extracted on the tips of his two forefingers, he stroked carefully into his eyebrows ; then spreading some on the palms of his hands, he rubbed it vigorously into his stubborn hair and whiskers for some quarter of an hour ; afterwards combing and brushing his hair into half a dozen different dispositions so fastidious in that matter was Mr. Titmouse. Then he dipped the end of a towel into a little water, and twisting it round his right forefinger, passed it gently over his face, care- fully avoiding his eyebrows, and the hair at the top, sides, and bottom of his face, which he then wiped with a dry corner of the towel; and no farther did Mr. Tittlebat Titmouse think it necessary to carry his ablutions. Had he, however, been able to "see himself as others saw him/' in respect of those neglected regions which lay

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8 TEN THOUSAND A-YEAR.

somewhere behind and beneath his ears, he might not, possibly, have thought it superfluous to irrigate them with a little soap and water ; but^ after all, he knew best ; it might have given him cold : and besides, his hair was very thick and loug behind, and might perhaps conceal anything that was unsightly. Then Mr. Titmouse drew from underneath the bed a bottle of '* incomparable black- ing," and a couple of brushes ; with great labor and skill polishing his boots up to a wonderful degree of brilliancy. Having replaced his blacking implements under the bed and washed his hands, he devoted a few moments to boil- ing about three tea-spoonfuls of coffee, (as it was styled on the paper from which he took, and in which he had bought, it whereas it was, in fact, chiccory.) Then he drew forth from his trunk a calico shirt, with linen wrist- bands and collar, which had been worn only twice L e. on the preceding two Sundays since its last washing and put it on, taking great care not to rumple a very showy front, containing three rows of frills ; in the middle one of which he stuck three *' studs," connected together with two little gilt chains, looking exceedingly stylish especially when coupled with a span-new satin stock, which he next buckled round his neck. Having put ou his bright boots, (without, I am really sorry to say, any stockings,) he carefully insinuated his legs into a pair of white trousers, for the first time since their last washing ; and what with his short straps and high braces, they were so tight that you would have feared their bursting if he should have sat down hastily. I am almost afraid that I shall hardly be believed ; but it is a fact, that the next thing he did was to attach a pair of spurs to his boots : but, to be sure, it was not impossible that he might intend to ride during the day. Then he put on a queer kind of under-waistcoat, which in fact was only a roll-collar of rather faded pea-green silk, and designed to set off a very

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fine flowered damsou-oolored silk waistcoat ; over which he drew a massive mosaic-gold chain, (to purchase which he had sold a servioeahle silver watch,) which had been carefully wrapped up in cotton wool; from which soft depository, also, he drew his ring, (those must have been sharp eyes which could tell, at a distance, and in a hurry, that it was not diamond,) which he placed on the stumpy littJe finger of his red and thick right hand and con- templated its sparkle with exquisite satisfaction. Having proceeded thus far with his toilet, he sat down to his breakfast, spreading upon his lap the shirt which he had taken off, to preserve his white trousers from spot or stain his thoughts alternating between his late waking vision and his purposes for the day. He had no butter, having used the last on the preceding morning; so he was fain to put up with dry bread and very diy aud teeth-trying it was, poor fellow but his eye lit on his ring ! Having swallowed two cups of his quasi-coffee, (eugh! such stuff!) he resumed his toilet, by drawing out of his other trunk his blue surtout, with embossed silk buttons and velvet collar, and an outside pocket in the left breast. Having smoothed down a few creases, he put it on : then, before his little vulgar fraction of a looking-glass, he stood twitching about the collar, and sleeves, and front, so as to make them sit well ; conclud- ing with a careful elongation of the wristbands of his shirt, so as to show their whiteness gracefully beyond the cuff of his coat-sleeve and he succeeded in producing a sort of white boundary line between the blue of his coat- sleeve and the red of his hand. At that useful member he could not help looking with a sigh, as he had often done before for it was not a handsome hand. It was broad and red, and the fingers were thick aud stumpy, with very coarse deep wrinkles at every joint. His nails also were flat and shapeless ; and he used to be continu-

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10 TEN THOUSAND A-YEAE.

ally gnawing tbem till he had succeeded in getting them down to the quick and they were a sight to set one's teeth on edge. Then he extracted from the first-men- tioned trunk a white pocket handkerchief an exemplary one, that had gone through four Sundays' show, (not use, be it understood,) and yet was capable of exhibition again. A pair of sky-colored kid gloves next made their appearance : which, however, showed such barefaced marks of former service as rendered indispensable a ten minutes' rubbing with bread-crumbs. His Sunday hat, carefully covered with silver-paper, was next gently removed from its well-worn box ah, how lightly and delicately did he pass his smoothing hand round its glossy surface ! Lastly, he took down a thin black cane, with a gilt head, and full brown tassel, jfrom a peg behind the door and his toilet was complete. Laying down his cane for a moment, he passed his hands again through his hair, arranging it so as to fall nicely on each side beneath his hat, which he then placed upon his head, with an elegant inclination towards the left side. He was really not bad-looking, in spite of his sandy-colored hair. His forehead, to be sure, was contracted, and his eyes were of a very light color, and a trifle too protuberant ; but his mouth was rather well-formed, and being seldom closed, exhibited very beau- tiful teeth ; and his nose was of that description which generally passes for a Roman nose. His countenance wore generally a smile, and was expressive of self-satis- faction : and surely any expression is better than none at all. As for there being the slightest trace of intellect in it, I should be misleading the reader if I were to say any- thing of the sort. In height, he was about five feet and a quarter of an inch, m his boots, and he was rather strongly set, with a little tendency to round shoulders : but his limbs were pliant, and his motions nimble. Here you have, then, Mr. Tittlebat Titmouse to the

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life certainly no more than an average sample of his kind ; but as he is to go through a considerable varietj of situation and circumstance, I thought you would like to have him as distinctly before your mind's eye as it was in my power to present him. Well he put his hat on, as I have said ; buttoned the lowest two buttons of his surtout, and stuck his white pocket handkerchief into the outside pocket in front, as already mentioned, anxiously disposing it so as to let a little appear above the edge of the pocket, with a sort of careful carelessness a graceful contrast to the blue ; drew on his gloves ; took his cane in his hand ; drained the last sad remnant of infusion of chiccory in his cojffee-cup ; and, the sun shining in the full splendor of a July noon, and promising a glorious day, forth sallied this poor fellow, an Oxford Street Adonis, going forth conquering and to conquer 1 Petty finery without, a pinched and stinted stomach within ; a case of Back versus Belly, (as the lawyers would have it,) the plaintiff wiuning in a canter ! Forth sallied, I say, Mr. Titmouse, as also, doubtless, sallied forth that day some five or six thousand similar personages, down the narrow, creaking, close staircase, which he had no sooner quitted than he heard exclaimed from an opposite window, " My eyes ! a!nH that a swell ! " He felt how true the obser- vation was, and that at that moment he was somewhat out of his element ; so he hurried on, and soon reached that great broad disheartening street, apostrophized by the celebrated Opium-Eater,* with bitter feeling, as " Oxford Street ! stony-hearted stepmother ! Thou that listenest to the sighs of orphans, and drinkest the tears of children ! " Here, though his spirits were not just then very buoyant, our poor little dandy breathed more freely than when he was passing through the wretched crowded court (Closet Court) which he had just quitted. He passed and met hundreds who, like himself,

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seemed released for a precious day's interval from miser- able confinement and slavery during the week ; but there were not very many of them who could vie with him in elegance of appearance and that was indeed a luxurious reflection \ Who could do justice to the air with which he strutted along! He felt as happy, poor soul, in his little ostentation, as his Corinthian rival in tip-top turn- out, after twice as long, and as anxious^ and fifty times as expensive, preparations for effective public display ! Nay, my poor swell was in some respects greatly the superior of such an one as I have alluded to. Mr. Tit- mouse didy to a great degree, bedizen his back but at the expense of his belly ; whereas, the Corinthian exqui- site, too often taking advantage of station and influence, recklessly both pampers his luxurious appetite within, and decorates his person without, at the expense of in- numerable heart-aching creditors. I do not mean, how- ever, to claim any real merit for Mr. Titmouse on this score, because I am not sure how he would act if he were to become possessed of his magnificent rival's means and opportunities for the perpetration of gentlemanly frauds on a splendid scale. But we shall perhaps see by and by.

Mr. Titmouse walked along with leisurely step; for haste and perspiration were vulgar, and he had the day before him. Observe, now, the careless glance of self- satisfaction with which he occasionally regards his bright boots, with their martial appendage, giving out a faint clinking sound as he heavily treads the broad flags ; his spotless trousers, his tight surtout, and the tip of white handkerchief peeping accidentally out in front ! A pleas- ant sight it was to behold him in a chance rencontre with some one genteel enough to be recognized as he stood, resting on his left leg ; his left arm stuck upon his hip ; his right leg easily bent outwards ; his right hand lightly

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holding his ebon cane, with the gilt head of which he occasionally tapped his teeth ; and his eyes, half closed, scrutinizing the face and figure of each ** pretty ffol^ as she passed, and to whom he had a delioious coDsctousness that he appeared an object of interest 1 This was indeed HAPPINESS, as far as his forlorn condition could admit of his enjoying happiness. He had no particular object in view. A tiff over-night with two of hb shopmates, had broken off a party which they had agi*eed the Sunday pre- ceding in forming, to go that day to Greenwich ; and this trifling circumstance had a little soured his temper, de- pressed as had been his spirits before. He resolved, on consideration, to walk straight on, and dine somewhere a little way out of town, by way of passing the time till four o'clock, at which hour he intended to make his appearance in Hyde Park, '*to see the swells and the fashions,*' which was his favorite Sunday occupation.

His condition was, indeed, forlorn in the extrema To say nothing oi \i\% pro9pects in life what was his present condition) A shopman with thirty-five pounds a-year, out of which he had to find his clothing, washing, lodging, and all other incidental expenses the chief item of his board such as it was being found him by liis em- ployers ! He was five weeks in arrear to his landlady a corpulent old termagant, whom nothing could have in- duced him to risk offending, but his overmastering love of finery ; for I grieve to say, that this deficiency had been occasioned by his purchase of the ring he then wore with so much pride ! How he had contrived to pacify her-— lie upon lie he must have had recourse to I know not. He was indebted also to his poor washerwoman in five or six shillings for at least a quarter's washing ; and owed five times that amount to a little old tailor, who, with huge spectacles on his nose, turned up to him, out of a litUe cupboard which he occupied in Closet Court, and

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which Titmouse had to pass whenever he went to or from his lodgings, a lean, sallow, wrinkled face, imploring him to "settle his small account." All the cash in hand which he had to meet contingencies between that day and quarter-day, which was six weeks ofiF, was about twenty- six shillings, of which he had taken one for the present day's expenses!

Revolving these somewhat disheartening matters in his mind, he passed easily and leisurely along the whole length of Oxford Street. No one could have judged from his dressy appearance, the constant smirk on his face, and his confident air, how very miserable that poor little dandy was; but three-fourths of his misery were really occasioned by the impossibility he felt of his ever being able to indulge in his propensities for finery and display. Nothing better had he to occupy his few thoughts. He had had only a plain mercantile education, as it is called, t. e, reading, writing, and arithmetic ; beyond an exceedingly moderate acquaintance with these, he knew nothing whatever ; not having read anything except a few inferior novels, and plays, and sporting newspapers. Deplorable, however, as were his circumstances

'* Hope springs eternal in the human breast."

And probably, in common with most who are miserable from straitened circumstances, he often conceived, and secretly relied upon, the possibility of some unexpected and accidental change for the better. He had heard and read of extraordinary cases of luck. Why might he not be one of the lucky 1 A rich girl might fall in love with him that was, poor fellow I in his consideration, one of the least unlikely ways of luck's advent; or some one might leave him money ; or he might win a prize in the lottery; all these, and other accidental modes of get^ ting rich, frequently occurred to the well-regulated mind

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of Mr. Tittlebat Titmouse ; but he never once thought of one thing, viz. of determined, unwearying industry, perseverance, and integrity in the way of his business, conducing to such a result!

Is his case a solitary one 1 Dear reader, you may be unlike poor Tittlebat Titmouse in every respect except one /

On he walked towards Bayswater ; and finding that it was yet early, and considering that the farther he went from town the better prospect there would be of his being able, with little sacrifice of appearances, to get a dinner consistent with the means he carried about with him, viz. one shilling, he pursued his way a mile or two beyond Bayswater; and, sure enough, came at length upon a nice little public-house on the roadside, called the Square- toes Arms. Very tired, and very dusty, he first sat down in a small back room to rest himself; and took the op- portunity to call for a clothes-brush and shoe-brush, to relieve his clothes and boots from the heavy dust upon them. Having thus attended to his outer man, as far as circumstances would permit, he bethought himself of his inner man, whose cravings he presently satisfied with a pretty substantial mutton-pie and a pint of porter. This fare, together with a penny (which he felt forced to give) to the little girl who waited on him,